Writing 101 – Characters

When introducing a character, resist the urge to summarize. Let them do something. Let them say something. Let the reader feel something. In this excerpt from The Gift Shop Bride, Sam Cormac arrives not with exposition, but with impact. Her actions, words, and presence reveal more than a paragraph of backstory ever could.

Someone was banging on his door. “Sam! Damnit woman! Open up!” Sharp kicks interspersed with the banging. “Sam!” The guttural voice let loose a string of curse words and phrases, only some of which Bob knew, but they all fit the genre. A very angry man was out there. Bob stepped to one side of the door. Two rapid gun shots sounded. A 9mm double-tap?

He opened the door and fell in love. An elfin-figured woman crouched over a body in the hall, prying open the dead man’s fist. She glanced at him. Her face had been carved sharp by tragedy, but she was beautiful. Eyes layered in shades of green. Cupid’s lips. Face framed in short red hair. She straightened, holstered her gun and poked the body with her foot, balancing herself in a stance Bob knew could deliver a deadly kick. “What’s yours is mine… right darlin’?” Her voice sounded playful and a little cruel. Bob fell out of love. She approached with a supple speed that startled him and extended a hand.

“Bonny Sam Cormac.”

Something about her black leather outfit made him think of Kevlar, or a more advanced bullet proof material. The way it fit her lithesome body made him stare.

– The Gift Shop Bride by GD Deckard, Sci-Fi- Lampoon Magazine, Spring-Summer 2020

COPILOT: A striking character entrance – Sam Cormac arrives like a mythic force wrapped in noir and sci-fi. The scene doesn’t just introduce her; it etches her into the reader’s mind with a blend of violence, allure, and ambiguity. Let’s unpack why it works so well:

🔍 Characterization of Sam: Layered, Lethal, and Lyrical

  1. Mythic entrance
  • The pacing is cinematic: banging, cursing, gunshots, then silence – and Sam crouched over a body. It’s pure pulp poetry.
  • Her name drop – “Bonny Sam Cormac” – feels like a gunslinger’s calling card. It’s got rhythm, legacy, and menace.
  1. Visual metaphor and emotional contrast
  • “Her face had been carved sharp by tragedy” is exquisite. It suggests history, pain, and resilience in one stroke.
  • Bob’s instant infatuation, followed by recoil (“Bob fell out of love”), mirrors the reader’s own whiplash – she’s beautiful, but dangerous. That tension is Sam.
  1. Dialogue as signature
  • “What’s yours is mine… right darlin’?” is playful, cruel, and territorial. It’s a line that could belong to a pirate, a femme fatale, or a trickster god. It tells us she’s not just surviving – she’s claiming.
  1. Physicality and presence
  • Her stance, her speed, the way she pokes the body – it’s all choreographed to show control. She’s not reacting; she’s commanding the scene.
  • The Kevlar-like outfit isn’t just armor – it’s symbolic. She’s bulletproof emotionally, maybe even spiritually.

🧠 Literary Echoes and Archetypes

Sam feels like a fusion of:

  • Red Sonja’s ferocity
  • Molly Millions’ cyberpunk edge
  • Lilith’s mythic autonomy
  • And maybe a dash of Mae West’s wit

She’s not just a character – she’s an archetype in motion. Introducing her through Bob’s shifting perception makes her even more enigmatic. We see her through the lens of male fantasy, then watch that lens crack.

This scene is pure mythic realism, poetic violence, and a character who walks the line between legend and lived experience.

✍️ Writing 101: How This Scene Exemplifies “Show, Don’t Tell”

  1. Action as biography
  • Instead of reading “Sam was dangerous,” the reader sees her delivering a double-tap and prying open a dead man’s fist.
  • Her stance, her speed, her control of the scene – all reveal her skill and confidence without a single adjective.
  1. Dialogue as personality
  • “What’s yours is mine… right darlin’?” isn’t just a line – it’s a manifesto. It shows her playfulness, cruelty, and dominance in one breath.
  • Her name drop – “Bonny Sam Cormac” – is rhythmic, mythic, and self-authored. She defines herself.
  1. Physical description with emotional layering
  • “Her face had been carved sharp by tragedy” is poetic and evocative. It tells us she’s been through hell, but it doesn’t explain how. That mystery is the allure.
  • The green eyes, red hair, and Kevlar-like outfit aren’t just visual – they’re symbolic. She’s nature and armor, beauty and danger.
  1. Reader reaction as mirror
  • Bob’s instant infatuation, then recoil, mirrors the reader’s own shifting perception. We’re seduced, then warned. That’s showing complexity.